During a divorce, it can be hard to find a balance for your family that enables everyone to move forward. It’s very important to work towards that balance and ensure equal responsibilities between you and your ex-spouse. It’s also critical to reassure your children that their parents are able and willing to work together for their best interests.
Another important consideration is providing your children with stability as they work through this difficult time. As you begin to plan your life after divorce, you must take all aspects of your family’s life into account. This includes finances, holidays, time with extended family members, and how you and your ex-spouse will maintain communication. A good parenting plan will help you do each of these things.
The Importance of Parenting Plans
Having written, concrete guidelines in place to outline your parenting plan is helpful in creating some stability and consistency for children and parents alike. It can also help prevent potential conflicts between and your ex-spouse after divorce, because you have a specific guide to adhere to. Working together to plan your parenting agreement before your divorce proceedings is helpful, because if the two of you cannot come to an agreement regarding the details of your parenting plan, the Arizona family court will decide for you.
If you plan ahead, you can begin with a written agreement that will outline your intentions for the court. The Arizona court prefers parents to have an agreement in place regarding parenting time and legal decisions, both because an existing agreement streamlines the issue during the divorce proceedings and because this cooperation shows care for the children as well as the ability to cooperate in the future. If an agreement isn’t readily in place, parents often turn to mediation services for assistance with parenting decisions.
Parenting Time Vs. Legal Decision Making
Arizona law refers to what most states call “legal custody” as “legal decision making. It allows sole decision making rights for one parent, or joint decision making for both parents. This covers important aspects such as the child’s healthcare, education, and religion. The court will approve a parenting plan that assigns legal decision making rights to the parent or parents who have the children’s best interests in mind.
If both parents decide on joint legal decision making responsibilities, it’s important to write down a plan regarding how you’ll make those decisions cooperatively. In addition, address how to handle topics where you disagree. The plan should also illustrate how decisions will be made in emergencies and how each of you will prepare for such a situation.
It is important to know that legal decision making does not equate to physical custody, or what Arizona refers to as parenting time. In Arizona, parents must also determine how they will divide parenting time. If parents are unable to agree on a parenting plan, the court will decide the appropriate amount of parenting time given to each person as well as the schedule. Creating the schedule with your ex-spouse allows you to retain more control over the situation.
Planning Parenting Time in AZ
There are several things you will need to consider as you begin to work out a parenting time schedule. Your primary concern—and that of the court—is the best interests of your child or children. Their best interests include several components, such as your child’s needs, commitments, and wishes. It’s also important to consider logistics like travel time, finances, and the commitments of each spouse.
Planning a parenting time schedule should begin with considering the emotional and physical needs of your children, then working with your spouse to create a plan that fully meets those needs. Physical needs include food, shelter, rest, clothing, healthcare, and more, all of which should be met consistently by both parents throughout the parenting schedule. Emotional needs can vary depending on age, but those common across all ages include a healthy mindset, emotional support, and strong relationships, including a relationship with both parents.
Keep these tips in mind when determining your parenting time schedule.
Minimize Disruptions
If your children have only ever been used to one home, moving back and forth between houses may be hard to adjust to. As you create the parenting plan, consider how your children will adjust to moving between houses. Develop a plan that has minimal disruptions, particularly during the school week.
Understand Commitments and Schedules
Many children are involved in extracurricular clubs, lessons, or sports, and it’s important to keep that in mind when creating a parenting plan. Many sports or activities are seasonal, so developing a parenting plan that accounts for these changes can help you prevent your children from losing yet another constant in their lives during the divorce process. If your children are younger and aren’t a part of any school activity yet, be sure to leave room in your parenting plan to make changes as they become involved in the future.
Keep Open Communication
Open communication is essential between you and your ex-spouse, but keeping an open line of communication with your children is important, too. If your children are older, it may be useful to get their input on your potential parenting plan. They may have preferences and needs that you didn’t anticipate. Even if their preferences are not practical or possible, involving your children helps them feel some amount of control over the situation.
Remember Unique Needs
These are your kids, and you and your ex-spouse understand better than anyone what specific things your unique parenting plan needs to tackle. Be sure to address the specific challenges and needs of your child to ensure they can thrive in their daily life with the new schedule.
Consider Logistical Needs
After it’s clear the child’s best interests have been met, parenting plans should consider logistical concerns such as communication, transportation time, work schedules, and finances.
Transportation Time
Transportation time includes transportation between both parents’ houses as well as distance between each residence and religious facilities, medical providers, activities, friends, and family. Transportation to school or access to bus routes both before and after school are particularly important if your child is in school or nearing school age.
Work Schedules
The work schedules of each parent should also be addressed in the parenting plan. This can include outlining available, nearby childcare that each parent trusts. If your kids already know a babysitter well, it can be helpful to maintain this connection for further stability.
Finances
Arizona law considers the division of child care expenses according to the financial ability of each parent as well as the parenting time held by each. When parents hold joint decision making responsibilities, this amount begins as equal prior to adjustments made by the court. For example, one parent may have the bulk of the parenting time and will receive child support payments to account for the expenses involved. Both parents should work together to determine the expenses at hand and the needs of their children, so each household can budget accordingly. Finances and parenting time can be complicated, and it will be useful to talk with your attorney about specific financial guidelines for your plan.
Communicate
Finally, as you work out the parenting schedule and once you implement your plan, it is critical to determine how you will communicate with your ex-spouse. As your children begin to move back and forth between houses, you’ll find it’s much easier to keep track of important items and information if there is easy communication. Keeping your contact information updated, providing availability, and organization of information are all essential aspects of communication between parents.
Creating A Timeline
The parenting time plan should outline a routine and timeline of when your children will be where. This is why keeping both logistics and needs of the children and parents involved is very important. You want to make a plan that works in practice so both parties can stick to it.
However, you’ll also need to leave room for future changes as your child grows. Their needs will change as they get older. For example, younger kids may not be able to handle long breaks from each parent, while older kids may want to move around less. Make a schedule that works for the time being, but be open to future shifts.
Keep in mind that not every parenting plan divides time equally between both parents, although many do. Even if you do decide to divide time equally, there are many ways to do so, including rotating from one parent to the other weekly to more frequent moves like a 2-2-3 day rotation. The Arizona judicial branch has a number of potential templates to browse as you determine how to split up parenting time.
Overall, maintaining a consistent parenting schedule is essential, but be sure to plan for holidays and vacations. In most cases, children benefit from spending special events and downtime with each parent. Make sure that you’re keeping the interests of your children at the forefront and that this parenting plan helps them adjust to this new way of life.
What Not To Do When Planning Parenting Time
Among the things to avoid when creating a parenting plan is creating a schedule that puts your own convenience first. This can be tempting, but maintaining the relationship between your children and both parents is far more important. Sometimes, your child’s best interests will be inconvenient to one or both parents’ schedules. While you’ll want to make a schedule that functions for everyone, It’s important to realize that sacrifices and compromises are often needed to create a plan that supports your children.
You’ll also need to avoid hyper-focusing on which parent is compromising more. Again, your children’s needs are both parents’ first priority. Just because it seems as though you’re making more sacrifices than your ex-spouse, that isn’t necessarily true. Focus on whether your children’s needs are met, and not on which parent gets the better deal.
Create Your Parenting Plan With the Help of an AZ Attorney
Mediation can help many divorcing couples discuss the various aspects of their parenting plan, and create an effective agreement for approval by the court. However, if you and your spouse can’t come to an agreement for a parenting plan, Arizona family court will make a ruling during your divorce proceedings. In either case, it’s important to find an experienced family law attorney to help you advocate for your child’s best interests and reach an agreement that works for the whole family.
If you’d like more information about mediation or creating a parenting plan with a trusted Arizona attorney, contact our office today.
Sources
- https://www.azcourts.gov/Portals/34/Booklets/AOCDRD1H.pdf
- https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/creating-perfect-parenting-plan-6-steps
- https://www.verywellfamily.com/create-parenting-schedule-that-works-for-your-family-4115901
Jonathan Roeder, Founder/Director of Marketing of The Valley Law Group, is an Arizona native who has dedicated his life and career to the service of others. After graduating salutatorian of his high school class, Jonathan attended beautiful and prestigious Pepperdine University, where he majored in Political Science. During his tenure at Pepperdine University, his passion for helping others grew after securing a clinical position with a residential treatment center for juveniles with substance addictions. Post-graduation, Jonathan returned to Arizona and served as a residential manager for mentally and physically disabled homes.