Why Divorce Through Mediation Could Be Your Best Option

Divorce can become a difficult situation for all involved. It can be physically, emotionally, and financially draining for you and your spouse, and if children are involved, they are likely to feel stressed as well. Unfortunately, many of the stressful decisions surrounding divorce, like the division of assets, child custody, child support, spousal maintenance, and more, can result in high tensions and contentious arguments. Continued disagreement can necessitate extensive litigation, increasing the length, stress, and financial cost of a divorce.

Divorce mediation provides couples with an avenue to discuss these disagreements with help from a professional dedicated to resolving them in a peaceful way. Learn more about why divorce mediation may be the best option for you.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a strategy that enables both spouses to meet with a neutral third party, a mediator, who will help guide the discussion as both work together to make decisions and solve problems regarding spousal support, parental time, child support, and the division of marital property. If you choose mediation, the decisions you make together can be recorded in a divorce settlement agreement that can be signed by the judge.

A mediator’s job is to guide the conversation, making sure that both parties remain respectful of each other and stay focused on their goals and priorities. The mediator will not give legal advice, as they are not allowed to do so. Instead, they assist the couple as they systematically discuss the topic and help them work toward a conclusion that is fair to both parties. Many people also choose to hire an Arizona divorce mediation lawyer to help them through the process.

What Is the Process of Divorce Mediation?

Your mediator may have a slightly different approach to your mediation session, but typically, most sessions share several similarities. Here are a few things that you can expect when you go to divorce mediation: 

Before Your Session

Before you begin mediation, you will share specific information with the mediator about the marriage, your family’s circumstances, and the issues that you wish to resolve. Most mediators require you to complete paperwork with that information or even write down goals that you wish to achieve with a mediation. Some mediators may also require you to agree to sign a document stating that you will not share anything that was shared in mediation with anyone.

During the Mediation Session

Sometimes, mediation sessions will occur online. If not, the session will typically take place in an office space. Depending on the circumstances, the mediator may meet with both spouses for the duration of the session, or they may decide to meet with each spouse one on one in separate rooms at one point during the session.

The mediator will ask you to share any thoughts, opinions, or concerns at the beginning of your time together. They may ask questions for clarification. Your spouse will then be given a chance to speak as well. After this has happened, you and your spouse will begin working on making an agreement together.

Benefits of Divorce Mediation

There are many benefits to using mediation as a means of resolving disputes and creating an agreement. The most significant benefits of divorce mediation include:

Mediation Is a Less Expensive Option

If you and your spouse undergo extensive divorce litigation, your divorce will likely become far more expensive. You will both need to pay additional legal fees since the process takes longer and has more court dates. Lawyers typically charge by the hour and often charge more for courtroom appearances.

Mediation Is Less Stressful

In most cases, mediation is a less stressful process compared to the traditional litigation process. The purpose of mediation is to offer both spouses the chance to respectfully share their side of the story in a safe, private space. A mediator’s background of conflict resolution allows for arguments to be quickly resolved, ensuring that the conversation stays peaceful and on task. The trial process can be intimidating and overwhelming for many, and everything revealed during litigation is on public record.

Mediation Is a Quicker Way to Resolve Disputes

As mentioned, the traditional route of divorce litigation will extend the timeline of your divorce. This timeline will now depend on the schedule of the applicable Family Court, which is often backed up. Mediation, however, enables you to determine how long the process will take. Most couples can come to a final divorce agreement more quickly during mediation than in the courtroom.

Mediation Is Confidential

During the litigation process, it is common for divorce lawyers to mention private details of the couple’s lives, which then become public information. Anything discussed in a mediation session is kept confidential.

Mediation Is Often Beneficial for Children

Mediation is all about setting goals for the family so that the couple can create an agreement that meets the best interests of everyone involved, including the children. It also means that the couple can determine a feasible co-parenting plan. Additionally, because the process is, by design, more amicable than litigation, both the divorcing couple and any children experience less stress.

What Issues Can Be Resolved in Mediation?

Several issues can be resolved in mediation. These problems can be approached meaningfully and kept in focus with guidance by the mediator. Together, the couple can resolve many issues during mediation.

Legal Decision-Making Rights

There are two aspects of child custody in Arizona: decision-making and parenting time. Decision-making involves determining who gets the authority to make legal decisions for the child. This topic is of the utmost importance during the mediation process as the parents work together to create a parenting plan. While a family court judge must approve any parenting plan, a fair agreement reached during mediation is typically accepted by most judges.

Parenting Time

Parenting time refers to where the child will spend their time during the week, weekend, holidays, and other special events. Physical custody refers to where the child will officially reside. Parents can reach an agreement during mediation regarding where the child will live, how parenting time will be divided, and more. A judge can then approve the parenting plan created.

Child Support

Both parents are legally required to provide resources for their children. Child support may be necessary if one parent bears more responsibility for the children. If that parent needs financial support, a child support agreement can be created during the mediation process. Again, this agreement can be approved by a family court judge if it is fair and in the child’s best interests.

Division of Property

Part of the divorce process includes determining how the marital assets will be divided. This includes assets such as retirement accounts, vehicles, houses, and bank accounts. Arizona is a community property state, which means community (marital) property will be divided on an equivalent basis.

Any property you obtained while married is considered community property, with few exceptions for inherited or gifted property. You will also need to determine which separate property each spouse should keep for themselves. Without assistance, property division can be difficult to resolve in a manner that is fair to both spouses. A mediator can help keep the discussion on track and ensure equity.

Spousal Support

Spousal support, or alimony, may be needed if one spouse experiences a change in the standard of living with divorce. This is another agreement that can be discussed during mediation. Spousal support is not necessary for every divorce, but the length of the marriage, as well as the spouses’ health, income, and earning potential, may all be factors that influence whether spousal support is deemed necessary. A family court judge can approve a reasonable spousal support agreement.

Why Divorce Mediation Might Be Your Best Option

There are many reasons you may conclude that divorce mediation might be your best option.

You Want to Retain Control

You and your spouse have the ability to control the outcome of your divorce decree when you agree to mediation. Mediation allows you to create the divorce agreement, and all of its terms are to be presented by the judge in your case. If either spouse does not agree to something, the agreement cannot be finalized, unlike during litigation, where a judge will ultimately make those decisions for you. If you and your spouse can at least communicate your end goals and work together with guidance from a knowledgeable professional, mediation is a good option for you.

You Want to Prioritize Your Ongoing Emotional Health

Mediation can also be a great option for those who are looking to prioritize their family’s emotional and mental needs. As mediation is a more peaceful way to resolve marital disputes and come together to make decisions for the family, it is usually a much less stressful process for both parents and children.

You Want to Prioritize Your Children’s Needs

Mediation is a great way to ensure that your children’s needs are prioritized. As you create a parenting plan together during the mediation process, you have the freedom to customize it to your family’s unique situation. This means that your children’s needs are assessed by the two people who know the most about them and are the most willing to acknowledge things like their personality, relationship with both parents, and scheduling needs. The court can only assess these topics as they appear on paper.

You Want a More Streamlined Divorce

As mentioned, mediation can significantly speed up the divorce process, which can be very important for many divorcing couples. Mediation may take one or several sessions to resolve any issues, which is a much shorter timeframe than the litigation process. Because it can save you time, it can also save you money, as you do not have to continue to pay lawyers as they negotiate your case in the courtroom setting.

When Divorce Mediation Can Be Used

Divorce mediation can be used by the couple at any stage of the divorce process. You can decide to use mediation before starting the divorce process, which is often the best choice, as you can make all the decisions needed before filing. Once your agreement has been created, the mediator can then file for an uncontested divorce, meaning that there is no need for some of the other complex pieces of the divorce process.

The couple may also choose to use mediation as they are amidst litigation. Mediation may be presented as an option after the couple has undergone several litigation sessions without having much success in coming to an agreement. Beginning mediation can help speed up the process, as the couple can have a safe space to speak together and come to an agreement. In some cases, the judge may even require that the couple go to mediation.

Couples may also choose to use mediation after the divorce has been finalized if the two want to make changes to the agreement. Meeting with a mediator can result in a faster resolution instead of returning to court several times to reach a resolution.

When Divorce Mediation Should Not Be Used

While mediation is the best solution for many or even most couples facing a divorce, it is not appropriate for every couple. Mediation is intended to be an avenue for both spouses to openly share their needs, opinions, and concerns. If it is not possible for one spouse to speak their mind because they are afraid of suffering negative consequences, mediation is not a good option.

Situations where mediation would not be suitable include any relationships with a history of abuse,  ongoing substance abuse, and if there is a power imbalance between the couple.

Tips for Successful Divorce Mediation

If you’ve opted for mediation and want to ensure your divorce mediation sessions are successful, we’ve assembled a few key tips.

Ensure Both of You Are on Board

First, it is important that both you and your spouse come to the conclusion that mediation is the best solution for you, your spouse, and your family. If you can agree to mediation, and you can agree to cooperate throughout mediation, the divorce process will be much smoother for both spouses. However, if you or your spouse are not willing to cooperate, mediation is likely not for you.

Gather the Necessary Documents

After you have determined that you will participate in mediation, it’s time to gather all of the necessary records and documents. Creating a list of all marital property and separate property is helpful, as you will later decide how to divide it and agree upon which items are not subject to division. You will also need records of all income for both spouses, as well as a list of current debts and expenses.

Create Goals for Mediation

You and your spouse should sit down and decide what your goals are for mediation, including determining what issues you want to resolve. Consider whether child support or spousal support may be needed, and think about the future needs for your children and what you want a parenting plan to look like. This will only help you streamline mediation as you work toward an agreement that meets your needs.

Stay Objective and Open

Lastly, it is very important to approach the session objectively. Don’t go into the session assuming that you will not get what you want or outright dismiss your former partner’s wants and needs. Keep a positive attitude and avoid trying to stir up conflict with your spouse. Cooperation is key to a positive resolution, and remaining open and objective about the issues at hand can help you ensure a speedy mediation process.

Consult With an Arizona Divorce Mediation Lawyer

Mediation can be an effective option for couples to achieve a resolution in a more peaceful way. If you’ve determined that mediation is your best chance at a streamlined divorce with a positive outcome, a skilled family law attorney can help you advocate for your rights and evaluate your settlement options.

Contact The Valley Law Group to discuss your case with a skilled lawyer and ensure your mediation produces a swift, fair resolution.